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.." No, that ship sailed a long time ago. Female hormones are in controlof all my emotions now. I have to be on them for the rest of my life.That's why I'm so high maintenance."He grinned. "I'm okay with that."Then Mark shared something else with me. "I wasn't going to tell youthis, Sandy - I mean Sandra, that's what I'm calling you from now on -but I've been in counselling for the past year or so." You have? Did Pam know? Does your mom know?" No, but Dad does. I was taking an hour off work every week to go." Was it because of Pam?" Everything. When you and I started seeing each other, I told him I wasin love with you, and I'd always been in love with you ..." Did you tell him, like ... all about me?"He shrugged. "I might have left out the part about you being a guyonce. But I told him about the whole Rob thing. And I did say you werethe prettiest girl I ever met." Thank you. So what advice did he give you?" He wanted me to stop seeing you, like cut off all contact immediately.He. Maybe it should be therapy for me. I had thought that I was cured. I imagined it. To be healed of you. How ridiculous.Obviously, nobody can close the gap that you left behind. It is completely hopeless.Through you I have experienced what love is. Love is when you win the lottery and don’t have the urge to leave your girlfriend - but to share the profits with her. And then maybe even marry. And that's exactly what I would have done.I don't know what you are doing right now and how you are doing. But other things I was able to find out. Where you moved to, I know from the internet. The way you're looking now as well. I miss you, everything else would be a lie. None of the things that you and I did wrong, could ever change that. Nothing that went wrong and nothing that I've seen, makes me miss you less. Nothing. I miss you. Maybe more than ever.I dream of you almost every night. Realistic dreams. I dream of you when someone else is lying next to me. I dream, I would be with you again. I.
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